Monday, May 22, 2006

Gov. McGreevy (D-Truck Stop)

News first (jokes to follow):
Jim McGreevey shockingly admits that before he became governor of New Jersey, he'd have anonymous gay sex at Garden State highway rest stops.

"All I knew was that my behavior was getting crazier and crazier," McGreevey says of his torrid truck-stop trysts in an upcoming book that details his tortured life of lies and sexual repression. ...

OK, can't resist:

  • Gives a whole new meaning to "contituent services."
  • Now we know why McGreevey took a tough stance against "profiling" by NJ State Police.
  • Gee, and you thought your governor sucked!
  • An inspiration to Tom Malin?

We now return you to the news:

[H]is fruitless attempts to conquer or hide his homosexuality by ogling Playboy centerfolds, frequenting strip clubs and becoming "as avid a womanizer as anybody else on the New Jersey political scene."

"The more the rumors circulated, the more public and brazen I became about my heterosexual conquests," the twice-married father-of-two writes.

Once again, can't resist:
  • Don't try this excuse at home, guys. Unless you're a Democratic politician, it will never work.
  • I bet McGreevey's ex-girlfriends used to brag to their friends about how they were shagging this Democratic Party bigshot. And I bet they're not bragging now about having been his "heterosexual conquests" ...
  • My kids are really proud of me: "Daddy wrote a book!" I wonder if Jim McGreevey's kids will be bragging to their friends about his book.
And now, back to the news:
His turgidly written tale ... is due to be published next fall by Regan Books.

Excerpts from the tome -- for which McGreevey reportedly will be paid up to $500,000 - were printed yesterday by The Star-Ledger of Newark ...

McGreevey ... currently lives with his boyfriend, financial adviser Mark O'Donnell.

This story is just a punchline or two away from being a Leno routine:

  • Hmmm, $500,000 advance. You know, for that kind of money, I might be tempted to become ... a New Jersey Democrat.
  • Who am I kidding? For $500,000 I'd be willing to meet Barbara Mikulski at a truck stop!
  • Finally, an answer to the question: "How do I get Judith Regan to answer my e-mails?"
  • "Turgidly written." Heh.
  • We can imagine the kind of "financial advice" Mr. O'Donnell gave the governor: "Write a book about it! Truck stop sex! The horrible pressures of the closet! They'll pay you $500,000. And, sweetheart, I've had my eyes on the cutest little BMW coupe ..."
I'm sure the news of "Truck Stop Jimmy" McGreevey's $500,000 book deal has got to be on the mind of a lot of politicians in Washington who are trying to figure out a way to escape their scandals.

Remember the original McGreevey scandal was that the governor hired a hunky young foreigner as his homeland security adviser. It was only after the scandal started making headlines that McGreevey played the gay card, held a three-hanky press conference -- "I am a gay American" -- and, presto, he's off the hook, with a half-million-dollar book deal and a new boyfriend.

Guess it beats checking into the Mayo Clinic ...

Never mind how much embarassment McGreevey has brought to Democrats, how do gay people feel about this guy? I mean, a middle-aged closet case turning tricks at truck stops, then using his orientation as a "Get Out of Jail Free" card -- is this guy really the ideal poster boy for "liberation"?

But never mind, I suppose McGreevey's already scheduled for a full hour on Oprah and Larry King and all the other shows that aren't interested in a book about Democratic Party corruption.

UPDATES:

Coalition of the Swilling notices the confession that explains why McGreevey was the perfect Democratic politician: "I knew I would have to lie for the rest of my life - and I knew I was capable of it."

Catholic blogger Gerald sez: "Yes, nothing like detailing what a 'manwhore' you are. ... We live in a completely shameless age."

Here's one gay blogger's take on Truck Stop Jimmy: "Of course I'm sure McGreevey will be applauded as courageous for detailing his painful struggle with homosexuality. ... I might be more interested if McGreevey didn't use his sexual orientation as an excuse for his misconduct while in office, like choosing cronyism over New Jersey's security."

Another gay blogger, David Hauslib says McGreevey is "about to become what so many hope and dream of: a published author. (And with a huge advance, he'll also become a reported $500,000 richer.)"

Honestly, David, if Judith Regan would just give me the $500,000, I wouldn't care about actually publishing anything. I am a shameless capitalist. Being "published" is cool, but not nearly as cool as $500,000. For $500,00o, I could hire a professional journalist to write a book for me, and have at least $450,000 to spare. (Which has been done, you know, but I ain't naming names. Of course, for $500,000, I might.)

- - - -

Right Thinking Girl says, "Why are the sex lives of our politicians consumed like intelligence data, analysed, documented, published? Why is he admitting this? Who is he helping?"

Also blogging, Uncorrelated:
Its rather pathetic to have one's entire identity, political or otherwise, defined by something so unremarkable as one's sexuality.
Yeah, but what's really pathetic is how McGreevey's brought suspicion on all of us happily married guys who now, every time we're late coming home from work, will have to prove we weren't gettin' (anonymously) jiggy at some interstate truck stop. Of course, I'm not a New Jersey Democrat, but then again, I don't have a $500,000 book deal either.

-- McCAIN


DONKEY CONS: Buy it
DONKEY CONS
: Buy TWO
DONKEY CONS: Rave review
DONKEY CONS: Another rave review
DONKEY CONS: Yet ANOTHER rave review
DONKEY CONS: Vilmar loves it!
DONKEY CONS: WorldNetDaily loves it!
DONKEY CONS: About the book
DONKEY CONS: On Book TV
DONKEY CONS: On Capitol Hill
DONKEY CONS: About the authors