Saturday, June 24, 2006

"AstroWorld" Armstrong's star chart

* UPDATE, SATURDAY 4:15 p.m. *
In compiling the horoscope below, I forgot to consider the waxing of the quarter-moon in Pisces, and thus failed to predict that David Brooks would go for the DailyKos jugular in Sunday's New York Times! That's some heavy-duty MSM dead-tree media we're talking about.

Please pray for David. He's gonna need some guardian angels to withstand the Moonbat jihad declared by Mullah Moulitsas.

* * * * *
As predicted late Friday, the revelations of Jerome "Astroworld" Armstrong's early astrology adventures have produced the effect of chumming the waters near the Great Barrier Reef: Sharks are circling.

The Warner for President campaign now has a a consultant who -- "icon of progressive politics" though he may be -- is also rapidly becoming the biggest laughing stock in the blogosphere.

A visionary Democratic political consultant who sees world-historical significance in the movements of Ixion, Quaoar and the Kuiper Belt? It's a target-rich environment. As soon as the PhotoShoppers get through with him -- and you know they're working furiously even now -- Jerome Armstrong might as well have dressed up in a big red nose, floppy shoes and a clown wig and spammed the JPEG to the Townhouse list.

Hot Air points us to Red State, where Jerome is now being ridiculed by Krempasky, Pejman, Socrates and Thomas (the earliest hammerhead at the Red State feeding frenzy was Moe Lane). Stay tuned for more, as Dan Riehl -- who drew first blood -- keeps digging.

Therefore, consulting Jerome's chart, I see this scenario:
  • Monday a.m.: Pluto in Uranus, the NY Post or some other dead-tree publication goes to print with Jerome's stargazing history. ("Mr. Armstrong did not respond to requests for comment.")
  • Monday noon: The transept of Jupiter, Rush Limbaugh spends 20 minutes pouring salt into Armstrong's open wounds. With Venus in the cusp, Paul Shanklin may produce a parody segment.
  • Monday p.m.: With Scorpio rising, a Fox News producer pitches a segment on the stargazing liberal pundit.
  • Tuesday a.m.: The retrograde of Mars prompts a reporter (probably a Cancer but possibly a Capricorn) to raise the JeromeGate question at a press conference carried live on C-SPAN.
  • Tuesday p.m.: As Mercury enters Virgo, an MSM editor -- unable to ignore the buzz any longer -- approves a JeromeGate story for Wednesday's editions.
  • Tuesday 11:39: Jay Leno (Taurus) cracks three jokes on the "AstroWorld" affair.
Strangely, the chart shows no future for Jerome after that.

Blue Crab Boulevard, Instapundit, Lee Siegel, Marty Peretz, QandO, Protein Wisdom, Wizbang, California Conservative, Politics in the Zeros, Don Surber, Stromata, Just One Minute, NRO Corner, Mickey Kaus at Slate ...

By the way, the "also blogging" links aren't just links for links' sake. When a story gets this hot, lots of people have lots to say, and I figure I need to get as many of them linked as quickly as possible, so anyone happening by here can find as much as possible as quickly as possible.

But those are all great commenters. For instance, Lee Siegel's Saturday response to the left bloggers is priceless:
All these abusive attempts to autocratically or dictatorially control criticism came about because I said that the blogosphere had the quality of fascism, which my dictionary defines as "any tendency toward or actual exercise of severe autocratic or dictatorial control." The proof, you might say, is in the puddingheads.
It's all good, as are the other "also blogging" comments. But I am just one guy, blogging part-time, who can only cut-and-paste so fast. The Donkey Cons blog doesn't have an auto-trackback function, so I am reduced to searching for related posts via Memeorandum, Google blog search and Technorati, then manually creating links to the good stuff.

This is time-consuming, but when a hot topic strikes my fancy, I want the links here to be exhaustive enough that folks who've added Donkey Cons to their list of favorites can use this blog as their "one-stop" source for the hottest links. However, this means sometimes doing an "also blogging" list, and I don't want anyone to think that this means that those links are second-rate or superflous. It's just that there's not time and space to quote each one.

* * * * *

Please note that while Markos has slammed TNR and accused others of "making stuff up about me now ... inventing things," at no point has he slammed the New York Times' Chris Suellentrop, who got this whole story rolling on June 16.

6/23: Bad Moon(bat) rising
6/22: Chait '08
6/22: Mullah Moulitsas: JIHAD!
6/22: Lying about lies
6/21: Ko$ola/JeromeGate: Pandemic
6/21: Kosola or JeromeGate?
6/20: Kosola: The story so far
6/20: Kosola scandal goes viral
6/19: Will blog for $$$
6/19: Kos pay-for-play scam
6/12: Tin foil: The new fur
6/11: How not to win (Kos video)
6/9: The ultimate losers hit Vegas