Friday, May 05, 2006

He can't do anything right ...

Fisking the Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy (D-UI) press conference:

He can't handle his depression.
He can't handle his medication.
He can't handle his addiction.
He can't handle his booze.
And he sure can't drive.

But ... we can trust Patrick Kennedy to govern American!

He paints himself as a helpless victim.
He says he takes "personal responsibility."
He calls for passage of "mental health parity" legislation.
He's going to the Mayo Clinic for treatment.
But ... he's still running for re-election.

You know, Rush Limbaugh had a problem. He got help. But he's just a guy on the radio; you can always turn the station.

Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy, on the other hand, collects a salary of $165,200 from the taxpayers. The average House member has a (taxpayer-funded) staff of 14. And, as a member of the powerful House Appropriations Committee, Patrick Kennedy gets to vote on every dime of a federal budget of nearly $2.8 billion.

Patrick Kennedy is 38 years old. He's been in Congress since he was 26, and has never accomplished anything worth mentioning. He is a pathetic, self-pitying loser, and if his last name weren't "Kennedy," nobody would even show up if he called a press conference.

The Kennedys! The Democrats! The Party of the People!

And to think I actually used to be a Democrat ....

New DCCC 2006 Campaign Slogan:
You Don't Have to Be On Drugs
To Vote Democrat -- But It Helps!

Previously on THE KENNEDYS:

5/5: Lame Excuses ...

5/4: Mary Jo Kopechne ...
4/14: Compromise with Kennedy?

UPDATES: Just in time for the PJK press conference, the GOP delivers its "Democrats Ethics Breakdown" (PDF format).

As usual, Michelle Malkin is all over it. I'm convinced, by the way, that the VRWC has secretly cloned Michelle. There must actually be 3 or 4 Michelle Malkins by now. When was the last big breaking news story where Michelle's blog wasn't right on top of it, right from the start? The blog, the column, the books, the TV appearances, the speeches ... See what I mean?

Expose the Left quotes PJK: "I don't remember ...." So, you don't remember a near head-on collision with a police car, you don't remember ramming your car into a barricade, you don't remember claiming (at 2:45 a.m.) that you were on your way to a House vote. OK. Your brain is so toasted you can't remember anything. You are a total burnout. But will you resign from Congress? "NO!"

Iowa Voice also has been right on top of the PJK story from the start.

Political Pit Bull has video of the press conference.

I watched the press conference live on Fox News, where ex-Washington Times guy Major Garrett was pretty tough on PJK, as Right Voices reports:
Major Garrett: He made it clear he has no recollection of driving. Ambien, the medication Kennedy took, has been linked to occasionally causing sleep driving. Major Garrett calls Kennedy’s statement “very artful.” Garrett reports that Dems may have likely intervened in the last 24 hours to persuade Kennedy to shift the focus of the story.
FOX analysts note that Kennedy made no mention of painkillers last night. Former prosecutor Michael Farkas: “This is an obvious attempt to garner sympathy from the public.” Worse than that, Farkas notes, it’s inconsistent with his statement last night and probably indicates that he probably did commit a crime.
Wonkette — who, at least snark-wise, reminds me of Lynn — points out that, not only did the blogosphere get Dan Rather off CBS, we just put a Kennedy into rehab. If this had happened in the old days of the MSM monopoly, the cops would have been paid off, the Kennedy PR machine would have covered it up, and PJK would be on his way to greater glories -- just like dear ol' Dad. Instead, Paddy gets exposed as an incompetent loser and is off to the Mayo Clinic to see if he can adjust to his pathetic reality.

Dems, don't be hasty to judge my judgmentalism. Remember: I was hatin' on Cynthia McKinney before most of these right-wingers ever heard of her, but I was also the first to stop hatin' on Cynthia. And, frankly, now Cynthia needs to call her own press conference: "If I was white and my name was Kennedy, I could blow past metal detectors on Capitol Hill every day. But if I did what Paddy Kennedy did ... can you say 'Rodney King'?"

Just got off the phone doing the Lars Larson show. He was doing the show live from Ithaca, N.Y., and we had a fun 20 minutes. I pointed out the "Don't Try This At Home" aspect of the PJK saga: If any ordinary citizen had (a) been driving at 2:45 a.m. near the Capitol; (b) nearly had a head-on collision with a cop car; (c) rammed his car into a barricade; and then (d) staggered out of the car ranting gibberish at the cops, I can pretty much guarantee the cops would have him in cuffs before you could say, "field sobriety test." But if you're Ted Kennedy's kid, you're off the hook.
And that's PJK's basic problem: The Kennedy name is like Teflon against consequences for your screw-ups. To be a third-generation Kennedy is to exist in a sort of Nerf world, where everything is padded for you, and no matter how stupid and irresponsible you are, nothing really bad can happen to you. Not exactly a character-building environment, you see.

The ever pithy Dan Riehl calls Patrick J. Kennedy "a disgrace to humanity."

Holy Coast: Cinco de Mayo (Clinic)

Gotta say one thing for old Paddy K: He's a godsend for bloggers. The great PJK trackback orgy has bumped our Technorati number up by, oh, about 6,000 ranks in 24 hours. Not only that, G. Gordon Liddy booked me Friday -- another chance to plug that great book you should buy -- and so I'm trying to share the PJK-induced love by linking everybody who's blogging our boy: Leaning Straight Up, Dan Flynn, Donkey Stomp, Stop the ACLU, Media Crunch, FullosseousFlap, Stuck On Stupid ...

If you're blogging the PJK saga and got left out, please e-mail me!

LAST UPDATE: The chain-letter of trackbacks has come full circle, and now Lawhawk has e-mailed to say he got lots of love (over 2,400 visitors) from his PJK post. Lawhawk's been blogging since 2004 and says he's never had it so good. My advice to Lawhawk: Say a prayer of thanksgiving.


DONKEY CONS: Rave review
DONKEY CONS: Another rave review
DONKEY CONS: Yet ANOTHER rave review
DONKEY CONS: Vilmar loves it!
DONKEY CONS: WorldNetDaily loves it!
DONKEY CONS: About the book
DONKEY CONS: On Capitol Hill